Ode to Patapon

Patapon ... my dear Patapon ... is it you, or is it me? Are you just not what you were suppose to be, or am I ... am I just tragically unable to follow a rhythm? I finally got my hands on Patapon, It truly is a great experience when you load a game, and you are for lack of better words, God. There is something that comes over a person in that role, in knowing whatever beings you will be leading, pushing around or mercilessly destroying, will still bow to you as God. These Patapon worship me, yet they are pretty picky about when they will. Do I look up at the sky and announce to God that I will only obey if he can hit XXOX in a decent rhythm? I do not. These Patapon however require something more then an uncoordinated Lord such as myself can offer.

While I enjoyed the art style, the theme, the Patapon little eye people, and the fact they would slaughter and hunt, I just could not get them to fight as well as needed. I got to about the second level, and while I was not bad at the game, I just felt like I would never get better. It was an odd feeling since I personally can't dance, it was an inner feeling for sure, something deep that said to me, you have no chance ofo ever leading these little eye balls like they need. It was an unusual moment coming to grips with the realization that, while I wanted to help them, I could not. Perhaps it is like watching your over weight friend hang off the ledge of a cliff reaching out for you, but you, knowing you never lifted over 20 pounds before, know you can not help him at all. Those poor little Patapon.

Perhaps it was not all me however. They decided to raid a fort while it was raining, and I just could not hear their chants over the torrential downfall. When they went into a frenzy, ready to lay waste to anything in their path, I could not time my mighty drum beats to start just right at the end of their war cries. Perhaps if things were quieter, perhaps if they did not yell, perhaps if it did not rain, but what would Patapon be without their cries and chants?

Patapon is one of the most fun titles I have ever sucked at.

Armageddon Empires

My monthly Games for Windows magazine arrives, squished as normal into the mailbox, I hate the post office! They had a an interesting few pages dedicated to a game, Armageddon Empires (AE), by the indie studio Cryptic Comet. I checked out the demo, about 64MB total download. The game was interesting, a mix of CCG elements in a turn based strategy war game. At this point I absolutely sucked at the title, lost my first two games, didn't read the manual, but I seen the potential if I could get the game mechanics down, more on that later.

My turn based strategy addiction goes back to Nobunaga's Ambition, a SNES title I would play for hours on end. I always felt there was something more competitive when you have more time to think and plan, like chess, given time, you will see more angles of attack. The CCG addiction comes from my early years in High School and the tons of money I dropped on Magic the Gathering cards, of which I dominated the local crew of players. They may say otherwise, but we all know the truth, right?

The problem so far for me has been cards, I am having trouble finding interesting combinations, which is typically what keeps me interested in CCG games. I have Yu-Gi-Oh titles for my DS, my PSP, and had them for my PC for sometime, MtG games for the desktop and a mountain of physical cards. In MtG I managed to win matches throwing my largest creatures at my opponent, turn a bunch of tiny elves into a behemoth and smash the front lines. AE unfortunately does not offer such creative options, or perhaps I am just not seeing them.

The other point I am a bit irked over is the apparent lack of multiplayer ... you pay for what you get right? I am just confused, I could have sworn, after reading the January edition of Games for Windows, that AE supported multiplayer? Was I mislead or did I just not read well enough. I have posted a screenshot of the first page of what I read through. Tom and Bruce, who are reviewing the game, pick separate teams, they report what happened during their turn, however the turns are never the same, so it seems to alternate as if they were playing each other. Only in the end are you given a glimpse they may not have been playing each other, and that is they both won, with different point scores ... Without fully knowing the game mechanics, should I have known it wasn't possible, perhaps they both mercilessly beat the AI? Perhaps they both accomplished a set goal, just at different points in time?

Truth? In all honesty, I do not have anyone I would have played multiplayer against, however the review that pulled me toward the game in the first place, now seems like it was a tad bit misleading. The section of the article is after all "Tom vs. Bruce: Two gamers enter, One gamer wins" If that does not sound like they are playing each other, I do not know what does.

All in all however the game is great and the company, who obviously didn't write the review should not be faulted for Tom and Bruce not being clear. I have even read on the web that a free expansion should be coming soon to those paid for the game. It is to include 10 new cards, not much there, however they focus on making the independent units in the field, more dangerous, currently they are a bit stagnant, waiting to be pounced on by my marauding Thrall hordes. Just as an extended sell point, the full title is only 70MB, making it very portable to bring to friends, play on laptops, etc.